March Madness – Picks of the Month
March is over.
*cues screams of ‘where is this year going!?’
When you have no need to keep track of days save to know when to expect your favourite show, it’s pretty much going at a normal pace. Or maybe because Internet wormholes have been the order of my year so far. I’ve seen a bunch of bloggers I like doing monthly recaps so I decided to do the same. The ones I have seen do appear to have a clear format and ties in to their blog vision but mine’s more of a ‘check out some of the awesome shit I found this month’. With a cute caption and everything. Ladies and gentlemen, the state of blogging, 2018. Eat your hearts out.
As the furthest thing from a movie buff, I’m glad Oscar season is over. It’s usually a day before the event that I actually find out who the nominees are, and most of the time they are movies I’ve never even heard of. Luckily, Screen Junkies compiles all of their trailers into one.
The fish fucking movie took home Best Picture. It’s a bit unfair that that’s the way that movie will be known, and at the same time it isn’t. [Spoiler alert, sort of] The audience doesn’t get to see the actual intercourse but the fish fucker [we will call her that. It’s what Guillermo wanted.] implies it in a conversation with Octavia Spencer’s character. It’s like a 10 second scene that ruins the entire film’s beauty and storytelling and could have been, SHOULD HAVE BEEN left on the editing floor. I mean if we want to get radical it’s just heterosexual supremacy that ruins that film. It could have been a compelling tale about pure love and how the simple act of touch can be so radical but noooooooo Mr del Toro wants to drop easter eggs of his late night browser history.
Regardless, the interspecies love conversation was put on the table and we’re going to have to deal with it. Who better to let us know about the intricacies of this sociocultural phenomenon than a dude who fucked a dolphin. Malcolm Brenner, a former investigative journalist is best known for his 1970’s love affair—mostly romantic, briefly sexual—with a bottlenose dolphin named Dolly. The man claims that the dolphin is the one who initiated the whole affair [sure it did] and that it was ‘transcendently romantic.’ He’s written a book called Wet Goddess and is the subject of the documentary, Dolphin Lover. YEP. Well anyway, he watched Shape of Water, and has some thoughts about the film. If you can get past HuffPo calling him ‘the thinking man’s zoophile’.
Still on The Oscars, away from the lizard man but to someone just as slimey, Jimmy Kimmel. I’m not particularly a fan of his. I don’t think he’s funny and looking at his hair reminds me of the taste of HairGlo [don’t act like you didn’t put that gel in your mouth] But what puts me off him completely is the infamous recurring prank where parents lie to their kids that they ate their Halloween candy. It’s the same thing every year but it somehow manages to infuriate me – why are you fucking with these kids like they won’t remember. Do you see how those kids lose their minds. You know some of those kids aren’t getting their candy back. Haven’t you watched Archer. That prank is up there with folks who shave their kid’s heads and film it for Twitter.
This piece focuses mostly on his time on the for men, by men, about men The Man Show, a show he once described as a joyous celebration of chauvinism, and his path to redemption – from chauvinistic shock jock to host of the first Oscars after the rise of the #MeToo movement. Suitable for both proponents and opponents of #growth. While you’re at it, why not check out the first ever episode of The Man Show.
On to another late show host I’m not so keen on, Stephen Colbert, aka the white man’s Churchill [what the fuck is up with the piano riff every time he cracks a joke. Kidum, is that you.] And let’s not forget his only black friend over there to cheer him on. Ugh. He’s not yet gotten a think piece decrying his old ways [that I know of], but he does have a show out.
Our Cartoon President isn’t the best or the funniest animated series out there nor does it have the best reviews. It isn’t even one of the funniest running gags about Trump. It’s what would happen if POTUS was Peter Griffin, which is…something to watch. The first episode has been the funniest, with subsequent episodes getting fewer laughs. Also, I don’t consume that much American political content so that could be another reason – they impersonate news anchors a lot. I do love how Ivanka Trump and Stephen Miller are drawn. I am also just baffled and awed by the sheer disrespect of the First Family. How they can draw the president’s sons like that and still be walking free. What a wow. My Kenyan self cannot comprehend.
Watch it when John Oliver is on break, or as background noise. Available wherever you pirate your stuff from.
Before Kanye West’s Gold Digger, there was Abedi Salongo’s Dot Com Lady. Wayanza mang’ondo. A BIG TUNE. Now with a video. We do not deserve.
The only Big Brother Africa worth watching was the first ever. I remember thinking Stefan was soooo hot. I can say that I do not feel the same anymore after watching this video with Gal Level [just in case you didn’t know Ogopa is responsible.] Peep the kissing. The comment section looks like a race play Fetlife group. NOT GOOD.
[Also, I am thinking of a Gal Level song. They say ‘shaking that body’ in the opening lines. In the video,one of them is wearing shades that are too big for her face. I can’t find it on YouTube. If you have any idea what I’m talking about, please tell me the name of the song in the comments.]
Thursdays are fantastic because of Super Deluxe. If you like this video of Kanye West as a Tame Impala song, light a joint and watch their entire music playlist. Bet you won’t get Tomi Lahren singing Mouth Diarrhea out of your head.
I am always drawn to queer stories. I feel a great sense of empathy for queer people who struggle to find the words to articulate exactly what it is they are going through, and deeper so for those who don’t exist within the conventional prescribed terms. While this author is speaking from ace, South Asian and American POVs there are several things that I find strikingly similar to my own experiences yet I am aware of the stark differences.
Over the years I have stumbled on several words to articulate this distance: gender-non conforming to express an inability (and perhaps unwillingness) to identify with the masculinity I was assigned at birth and ‘asexuality’ to articulate an inability to feel authentically ‘sexual,’ capable and worthy of wanting. But these terms never really felt adequate to articulate that conglomeration of anxiety, power, histories, stories, and paradoxes that come to mind when I think of my gender and sexuality. Like all identity markers they are shorthands we have been prescribed to halt conversation: we can retreat into our identities like we retreat into our apartments not asking how and why we got there, who we gentrified to get there, not being able to have a conversation about how this place will never fit all of our idiosyncrasies.
The late and great Toast. Damn. I liked that website a lot, and was kinda bummed that it shut down [you can still access the pages if you have a username and password], though I still read Dear Prudence when I get the chance. Daniel Mallory Ortberg came out shortly before he released his new book and discusses identity, coming out, Star Trek and the importance of queer communities. It has a light hearted tone for something so personal, and I came out of it liking him even more than I did before.
A little closer to home, the results of a Queer in Kenya survey came out. The survey sought to learn more about the online queer community, find out their demographics, online
consumption habits, content they are drawn to and more. It’s a handy tool for content creators. The survey was conducted by kenyanbabydyke, and you should definitely check out her blog, Baby Dyke. This post addressing #GreenCalabashGate and the importance of respecting pronouns is a vital read. Also check out the podcast, Calling All Queers.
CupcakKe has a new song out. BITCH. That light up jacket. Play this loud in your homophobic uncle’s car.
I am currently reading Neon Soul by Alexandra Elle, a writer I found on Instagram [alex_elle]. The whole profile is aesthetically pleasing, and I enjoy having her quotes appear in my feed. Her support of women owned businesses is so inspiring. Plus her family is super cute.
I like her style because it’s so personal and sincere you just get the sense that this is someone who wants only the best for you. I read her earlier work, Words From A Wanderer, which was light and uplifting, although it did get a bit juvenile to me at times. I’m just a few pages into Neon Soul, but this collection of poetry and prose is more substantial and fine tuned.
She also has a podcast, [hey, girl] that covers love, loss and self care – building sisterhood and community through storytelling. I loved the episode with educator and creator, Safa Iman,where they discussed healing after sexual violence, mental health, self-forgiveness, and soothing the wounds of trauma. Trigger warning necessary before you tune in. The episode had a great impact on me, which I’ll expound on in a later post.
For a lighter episode, check out the one she did with author, blogger and chef Jerrelle Guy [IG – chocolateforbasil] – they talk about food as an identity, bonding through the love of food and self care through cooking.
Which link was your favourite and which one were you over before you even clicked? Let me know in the comments.
If you would like to get these and more random links delivered straight to your phone, get a load of my obnoxious link dump aka Telegram channel.